Festival of Lights
by Lashworthe
Summary: A double-feature of Hanukkah stories starring Fenris and Hawke (male). Both stories are short one shot pieces, the first is from Fenris' POV going to Leandra's annual Hanukkah party for the first time. The second one is a short from Hawke's perspective on sharing his first holiday with his new boyfriend as they light the candles.
1. Chapter 1

"...you are sure this is alright for me to come to?" Fenris asked for the third time.

Hawke chuckled and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend. "For the last time, it's fine. Mother holds this party every year for everyone," he said.

Fenris tried to relax under his boyfriend's arm. "You're sure?" he asked.

Hawke laughed and kissed his cheek. "I don't know why you're so nervous. It's just a party. You like parties!"

"I do not like parties."

"You always have a good time at Varric's!"

"I know everyone there. It's different. This is a party your mother is throwing for a holiday I know nothing about," Fenris countered.

"Fenris, it's Hanukah, not a pop quiz."

"A pop quiz feels like something your mother might do," Fenris said.

He still remembered Leandra's alarm at Fenris' tattoos. He'd made sure to wear gloves that hid the markings on his hands and his beanie pulled low to hide the ones on his forehead. The chin markings were the only things he couldn't do anything about.

Hawke laughed. "Only if she didn't like you. And she thinks you are the best. She might even prefer you to me and I'm her son!"

Fenris smiled lightly at that. "Well Leandra is a very bright woman."

Hawke winked. "Where do you think I get it from?"

"From the stories your mother tells, I would guess you got that from your father," Fenris said as they walked up to the manor where Hawke's mother lived.

The massive home always made Fenris feel small and out of place. This was not a place for someone like him. It certainly made him feel like a nothing, not compared to all Hawke had done.

Hawke nudged him then laced their fingers together. "Relax. I'm here with you."

Fenris let out a long breath and nodded. "I will try."

Hawke smiled and knocked on the door. Almost instantly, Hawke's sister, Bethany, opened the door. Music blared from inside and the scent of warm food drifted across the air. Fenris heard Hawke's stomach growl.

Bethany grinned, "You made it!"

"I said we'd be here," Hawke said as Bethany hugged him.

Fenris stood stock still when Bethany wrapped him in a hug. "Well come on in and get something to eat."

Hawke, still holding Fenris' hand, pulled them both inside before Fenris could think of some excuse to get out of here.

Warmth and laughter filled the air though Fenris didn't recognize many faces. Even with the jovial atmosphere, Fenris stayed on high alert with his fingers gripping Hawke's.

"You have to have latkes," Hawke said as he pulled Fenris into the kitchen where every flat surface was covered with food. "You want it traditional?"

"Traditional?" Fenris asked as Hawke made a plate.

"Latkes with applesauce."

"…you are making that up."

Hawke laughed, "Traditional it is."

"What? No. You have to give him latkes with sour cream. They're so much better that way!" Bethany protest.

"No, no. You keep your sour cream away," Hawke said with a laugh.

"You just haven't let the joy of sour cream into your life. Don't let him keep you from joy Fenris," Bethany passed over a plate.

Fenris took it, looking down at the fried potato blobs with sour cream. Immediately after Hawke dropped down more latkes and applesauce. "You can have them either way but probably not together. Applesauce an sour cream don't mix well," Hawke said with a smile.

Hawke led the way through the rest of the kitchen. Most of the food Fenris recognized: bagels and lox, chips, cheese and fruit. He tried to get a little of everything, not wanting to offend Leandra.

"Find us somewhere to sit?" Hawke asked.

Fenris slowly nodded and ventured down the hall to try to find some unoccupied space. Fenris didn't do strangers well and this echo chamber of sounds and unfamiliar people sent anxiety shooting through his blood in bursts. He could do this.

"Why the long face Broody?" Came a familiar voice and Fenris peered into a room and found familiar faces staring back at him. Sitting like he owned the place, Varric stretched out on the couch and right beside him Isabela sat with her usual smirk.

"Varric?" Fenris asked then looked to Hawke.

"Mother invites everyone," Hawke said with a shrug.

"Come on in," Varric said.

Fenris walked in the room as Isabella and Varric scooted over to make room on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" Fenris asked.

"Don't be rude. We were invited," Isabella said.

"Seems Leandra has taken a bit of a shine to Hawke's motley crew. The whole gang is here," Varric said.

"We are a lovable bunch," Hawke said.

"Even if you take a lot to get used to," Aveline said.

"You love us big girl," Isabela cooed.

With familiar faces around, Fenris relaxed a pinch, enough to at least eat. Fenris nodded and started on the more familiar foods first, not quite ready to try the sour cream and applesauce mixture that Hawke had built for him.

"Leandra does make the best food! Have you had the pie?" Merril asked as she walked in with a plate of nothing but sweets.

Hawke laughed. "That's kugel, not pie Merril."

"Well, it's delicious. Oh Fenris! Hello!" She said as soon she noticed Fenris.

Fenris nodded.

Merril sat on the floor beside Isabella and started eating her dessert tray of food.

"Are you going to eat any actual food?" Anders asked, staring at the pile of sweets Merril had amassed.

"This is real food," she protested.

"That is a sugar coma on a plate."

"Not everyone can live the joy-free life a vegan," Isabela said.

"Oh ha-ha," Anders rolled his eyes.

"Girls, you're both pretty," Varric interjected.

Hawke shook his head and sat beside Fenris. "You haven't touched your latkes!"

"…what are they exactly?"

"Delicious," Isabella answered. "Think your mother would give me the recipe?"

"Nope. Ancient family secret," Hawke said with a sage nod.

Bethany leaned in the doorway and laughed. "You mean whatever recipe she can find this time?"

"Shhh don't ruin the secret," Hawke shushed.

"That is… Fascinating, but what are they?" Fenris asked.

"Potato pancakes basically," Hawke said.

Fenris wrinkled his nose then tried a bite. The warm, tangy flavor burst over his tongue like nothing he'd eaten before. Crispy, soft and melt in your mouth. The next bite he tried with applesauce.

"Well?" Hawke asked as he waited like an expectant puppy.

"They're…good?" Fenris said. "But I don't think I'm a fan of the traditional style."

Hawke sighed dramatically. "Oh no, then who will eat all that applesauce. What a terrible fate to befall me."

Fenris chuckled as Hawke stole away a few latkes and the applesauce from his plate. The amount of food Hawke could eat always amazed Fenris. He swore Hawke had to have four stomachs or more to hold all that food.

"Everything's wonderful Hawke," Merril gushed, "I wish I could cook like this, but I just burn everything."

"We'll work on that kitten," Isabella said.

"Says the woman who caught a pot of water on fire," Aveline said.

"That was a defective stove and you know it," Isabella protested.

Hawke laughed. "I missed this story!"

"Oh don't get too cocky there. Aren't you the one who tried to bake cookies in the microwave on a Frisbee" Aveline asked Hawke.

He coughed, "That was once in college and I was very drunk and desperate at the time."

Fenris chuckled and shook his head. He could easily imagine that. If Hawke was drunk he was either cooking or singing; those were the only options. Fenris had gotten used to it by now though it still amused him to watched his boyfriend sway through Adele's newest hit, butchering it in a way entirely too charming. He sighed softly and leaned his head against Hawke's shoulder as Aveline launched into the tale of the flaming pot of water.

The warm voices and laughed washed over him like the waves of the ocean. He'd never expected to find this: a place he belonged, a family of his own. But for the first time in his life, Fenris felt safe, loved and full of light.


	2. Chapter 2

Hawke loved the holidays. All of them. But Hanukah and Christmas were his favorite. His mother and father had raised him with both and now it just didn't feel like December unless there was a menorah and a Christmas tree in the house.

Even though his father had been gone for years, Hawke still put up a menorah and lit a candle every night for 8 nights. This would be the first year that Fenris would be a part of it, and Hawke would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about it. Sometimes, he still wondered how solid their relationship was; if at some point Fenris would decide Hawke was too much a mess and leave for a simpler life. The man basically lived and breathed minimalism and Hawke accumulated junk at an alarming rate.

A man who had lived on the run deserved a simple peaceful life, and life with Hawke was anything but that. He wanted to ask Fenris about it sometimes, but didn't know the wording. He jumped at the knock on his door. He straightened his shirt once more before opening it for his boyfriend. Fenris stood out front and offered a small smile.

He looked as gorgeous as ever even with a dark knit beanie covering most of his snow white hair. "Hey! Right on time," Hawke said then groaned. "I mean not that you aren't always on time. I mean... nice to see you, come inside." He opened the door.

Fenris stepped inside and stomped the snow off his boots on the matt then peeled them off. Next came off the jacket, hat and scarf, bits of snow still clung to him and Hawke smiled as he ruffled Fenris' hair and knocked a bit more snow loose.

Fenris didn't even offer a playful sigh at that and Hawke frowned. "Hey, is everything ok?" he asked.

"Fine," Fenris said quickly, far too quickly before sighing. "I don't know what I'm doing."

For a moment, Hawke panic hit him hard. "What?" Hawke asked.

"This. Holidays."

"Oh, Hanukkah isn't that complicated Fenris, you just-"

"It's not that Hawke."

"Is it…me?"

"No!"

"Fenris, I can't help if-"

"I've never had a holiday like this. Candles, trees, any of it," Fenris muttered.

Slow realization crashed over Hawke. His boyfriend had lived on the streets, on the run, never his own man. Of course he'd never had a holiday.

"Oh...Well then this will be your first." Hawke smiled, "And we'll make it one to remember," he said.

Fenris didn't look convinced but he didn't bolt for the door and Hawke took that as a good sign.

"Come on, I've got food," Hawke said as he took Fenris' hand and pulled him out of the mudroom and into the living room. The fire roared in the massive fireplace and food nearly spilled over the edges of his coffee table.

"How many people are you cooking for?" Fenris asked as he eyed the banquet.

"I don't know how to cook for small groups," Hawke laughed. "Besides appetite runs big in my family."

Fenris sat down by the fireplace in his usual spot. "I don't recognize a lot of these," he said after a moment.

"Well, I've got some lox because it's delicious. Brisket that is delicious. Latkes because they're delicious," he said. "Oh and a cheese platter because, well you know."

A slow, small smile tilted just the corner of Fenris' lips. "I am seeing a trend here."

"I only make food if it's going to be delicious," Hawke said with a nod. "Why waste your time making bad food?"

"What a wise man you are."

Hawke nodded and sat down. He filled one plate and passed it over to Fenris. When he saw Fenris eyeing the portion sizes, Hawke added, "You don't have to eat it all, really."

Fenris nodded and slowly started eating. Hawke waited a few seconds before he dove in to eat as well. Everything tasted amazing: sweet, salty richness burst across his tongue. He'd spared no expense on anything. Any time he knew he'd be feeding Fenris he went top of the line. He'd always make sure his boyfriend got the best; Fenris deserved it. Hawke always made sure to always have food around to feed his too-thin boyfriend. Hawke was all about food and eating the best (even if that did include potato chips, Twinkies, and mac and cheese from time to time), and why eat alone? So he took Fenris with him and made him fancy meals; that slow smile of Fenris' made all the struggles in the kitchen worth it.

Fenris ate at a leisurely pace, glancing at the menorah on the fireplace mantle.

"So, what exactly... do you do?" Fenris asked.

"Well first we have to draw our sabers and duel," Hawke said in the most serious voice he could muster.

Fenris stared at him, wide-eyed and alarmed before Hawke's poker face disintegrated and he laughed.

"You're joking," Fenris said.

"Maker, you should have seen your face!" He laughed, wiping his eyes even as Fenris glared at him.

The edges of his lips twitched into a smile so he wasn't truly annoyed, just teasing right back just the way Hawke liked it.

"No, no dueling," Hawke said. "Well we'll light one candle tonight, well two technically, the shamus is the middle one, it's like a helper candle. You use it to light the other ones. Tonight is the first night so we're just lighting one candle on the far right." Hawke explained as he pointed.

Fenris watched, his brows furrowed together and nodding slowly. Hawke resisted his urge to pull Fenris into a kiss. Fenris was too damn cute when he was being serious (which was most of the time if Hawke was being honest).

"And how long do these candles stay lit?" Fenris asked.

"Until they burn down, takes an hour or two." Hawke said.

Fenris nodded as Hawke got up and pulled out the candle. He lit the smaller shamus and then carefully placed the candle on the furthest right and recited the prayer just like his father had done when Hawke was just a small boy. This quiet moment was the one time of year when Hawke felt close to his father again, like he could just call him up and ask anything. He hoped he'd done his father proud, hoped he'd done his family proud.

Fenris' cool hand touched his shoulder and Hawke wrapped his arms around Fenris' back to pull him close against his chest as they both leaned back into the couch to watch the flickering of the menorah as outside the wind and snow picked up.

Hawke pulled Fenris close and kissed his temple; they didn't need words at the moment. All they needed was each other and the warm light in front of them.


End file.
